im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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