dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
