Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
