So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
