i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
