3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
