I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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