I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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