something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
