I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
