Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Randomize