Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
