He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
