And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
