I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
