it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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