I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
