Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
