Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
