Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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