i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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