this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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