I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize