i think my tv is drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
