i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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