Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
