Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just had sex on a roof
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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