I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
