U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize