Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
