Just fell off a train. Bad.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
