Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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