Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
