New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize