My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
