I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i dont even know how to be here
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
