i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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