So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
