You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
