I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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