I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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