Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
