I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize