pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
