Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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