Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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