I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
