i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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