Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
