I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
