How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
