How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
