Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
