i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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