He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
