I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
