idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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