they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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