So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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