and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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