Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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